|
I’m the kind of person who likes to know things. I like to know what’s happening, to know random facts, to know about the people in my life. but I don’t know what the future holds and that scares me. I fear what I don’t know, but I can usually face that fear and learn something whether it’s for school or a group of people. I can always learn and start to know. but I can’t know the future. that’s why I’m always anxious because I can’t know. back from college now. I have my old room and old bed back, but I also have some friends that were with me the whole time, well not really friends. my anxiety and depression are here too, they are even more friendly in this old place. I can’t wait to get my own place with my girlfriend. a month and a half seems forever from now, especially if these “friends ” stick around. but work starts Monday and volunteering tomorrow so maybe I.can make this old place feel new and get some new friends. some real friends tomorrow I start again. I will do something good for the people that I love. I will do something good for myself. I won’t let my anxiety or depression get in the way. but tonight I’ll lie awake wondering if my ambitions will come true. tonight I’ll take one more night to let myself feel sad and when tomorrow comes I’ll feel better. yes tomorrow will start a good new chapter, but tonight I will dwell on this one for a little longer.
I think that in life we all go through very dark times. like when a caterpillar makes a cocoon, it must be dark and terrifying, but it emerges a butterfly and can finally be free. I just hope one day I can get out of the darkness and fly away The best lies aren’t told by the best liars. they are told to somebody who trusts you with their life, and you lie to them. 
|
